that means more than famous!
today i am featured on the blog of etsy
in the uk section
here
super duper.
super duper.
and i want all you naysayers who thought id never achieve anything to take it all back, that means you mrs ferguson my old woodwork teacher and that means you helen dorffman my first girlfriend and that means you mother, i did it mum. take that. and that means you uncle eric, and you aunt norah and you morag mclafferty my second girlfriend, and you dad, you said just this morning id never make it and that i was a shame on the family name and that could you borrow 5 pounds for biscuits. well . look at me now. infamous. more than famous. if you beg me i will take you all back. but it needs to be good begging.
anyway. enuf toxic venting.
go look!
go look!
everywhere i would go i was followed by the shank. at a
distance of 4 feet it plagued me, and if i turned and
tried to grab it, it too would turn and the poles now
reversed, would stay 4 ft in front - like two magnets
chasing each other. some times i would try to trick it
and after turning a corner attempt to pounce upon it.
but there was something smart inside that slab of meat.
sometimes i would try to lock it behind a bolted door,
or i would leap into a closing elevator in an attempt
to shake it off. but i would hear it slidin against the
door and scrabbling to find a path towards me. it was
as if it was invisibly tied to me with some industrial
piece of elastic, and the further i got away from it
the harder it would come at me when the path was clear.
like a heat seeking missile that piece of sheep would
slam into me like george foreman. i soon learned not to
evade the shank. people would see it moving behind me
and would assume it was a little dog, only to be
horrified by that leg bone and shoulder.
when courting
i would douse it liberally with aftershave, throw a rug
over it and hope for the best.
margaret has passed this on to me via kav.
when putting more than one spread on your toast... to avoid polluting the second spread by mixing the first spread into the jar... stick your knife into the side of the toast, the fluffy inside of your toast cleans the knife, therefore preparing it for use in the second spread.
thank you. thank you.
hey does anyone remember going to the shoe shop and you would
take your shoe off and put your foot in that little hole??
and the sides would move in and then the tops like some little indiana jones room for your foot?
brrrrrr. klunk. brrrrr. klunk.
what the hell was that?
and the display was kind of floating circles over letters i think.
bring that back.
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